The ramblings of a spanko (Top) in a vanilla marriage

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Explanation I promised on the word Master

I was hoping to get some readers or maybe even a comment or two, but I hope that will come, can't wait until that happens, have to get stuff down while it's fresh in my mind.
In earlier post I have stated I don't call myself a Master and didn't want to piss people off by telling them why. Well I've formulated my answer and it is many fold so here goes.
Reasons for not calling myself Master

1] I've met and seen many so called Masters', both online and in person, that the handle "asshole" would fit better.

2] Master is a term of respect. Respect is earned, not given because of a name.

The net has done many wonderful things to this life, but along with the good comes the bad. Too many have used the life and term Master to bolster thier macho image. I've always felt that a false bravado usually covers a personaliy of an asshole. A true Master is confident in who they are, it shows in the way the conduct themselves.

I am about respect. Respect is earned, but by the same token, disrespect is also earned. I disrespect noone, no matter who or what thier station in life is, until that person has shown me otherwise. If they earn my disrespect and contempt, I shall treat them accordingly. If a slave wishes to be reguarded as such, I will treat them as such, as to thier wishes.

Online, I have never met alot of the people I chat with or converse with. For a slave or sub to call me Master, without meeting me, isn't something that sets well with me. Having never met someone, how can you tell, give that kind of respect? To me it just makes a mockery of the life. I mean really, I could be a 10 year old playing on my parents computer. To me, until we know each other better, SIr is a perfectly good greeting. It shows respect, but doesn't over do it. Once we've become better aquainted, if they choose to call me Master, that is acceptable.

I met a slave online recently and she couldn't understand why I didn't want her to call me Master. After we had met, I told her and then she started calling me Master.

I guess to make a long story, short. All of you subs and slaves who have ever placed an ad seeking a Master know what I mean. After getting hundreds of one line emails, and orders from Men you have never met, doesn't it seem like some kind of a joke? All the wanna-bes looking for kinky sex really have no clue as to what this life is all about. Would you place your life and decision making in the hands of these "Masters"?..............
I would hope not, so that is my explanation folks, hope I made it clear enough if anyone ever reads this.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Brats, or as they prefer Angels

Brats are in a catagory all by themselves. I've been lucky to know quite a few, and have had the pleasure of taking most of them over my knee.
My last sub was a brat, and one of the truly great brats I've had the pleasure of knowing. She was a true spanko first of all, and developed into a real brat. I can't say I was responsible for I just introduced her to the brats and she took to it naturally.
What did I mean by "true spanko"? Well simply this, she definately got excited from being spanked, she enjoyed being spanked, she could orgasm just from being spanked. She would go into sub space and the look of bliss was all over her.
I've spanked many ladies, some were subs, some slaves, and a few looking for a daddy. I enjoy spanking them all, each one has a different appeal. I won't go into that right now, lol haven't got that much time.
If it was so great why did I break it off. Well I wanted more than she was able,or willing, to give. I won't elaborate on that, it was a great relationship, but we both knew it had to end.
I'm not looking for 24/7. Maybe one day, but I would like to find a brat that needs and wants regular attention. A slave or sub, to meet up a couple of times a week.

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Sunday, October 26, 2008


This is one of my favorite lexan paddles. This one still has the protective paper on it, it is clear once you remove the paper. It is what brats call "stingy" implement. A nice crisp blow, will definately get her attention. After a paddling with this, she will remember it for awhile. As with any implement, how you use it makes all the difference. It will bruise if you aren't careful.
Lexan paddles have several advantages, they are lightweight yet deliver a whallop. Virtually unbreakable, yet thin enough they can be used as a bouncy toy. lol now what the hell did he mean by that.. If you take the paddle and place it a couple of inches from a brats ass, you can get it to do a whip effect by rapidly doing short strokes. Not so well with this paddle, but with the bigger ones. It gives the brats a more light, enjoyable sting, when used as such.
I also have a larger lexan that has holes drilled thru it. Just about every brat I've used this on, has enjoyed it.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Red Flags

Red Flags...Warning signs
I was following a newbie on Collarme, she was looking for 24/7 hardcore, young lady too. I wondered how at such a tender age she could be so sure. [18] This week it all changed and I am worried about her. She found a Mistress, online so far. Now that isn't bad, but her profile changed and that worries me. it went from seeking to "No contact, no chatting, Mistress does not permit it"

Anytime, especially when just starting a relationship, you are forbidden contact with anyone, it should scream in your head,"get out while you can"

To me it signals one of two things

1] Your Mistress lacks the confidence to allow you to chat with others, afraid you will find someone else

2] Abuse, if you read up on abusers, one of the first things they do to thier victims is isolate them. Make them cut contacts with friends and relatives and forbidding them to chat or talk to anyone. It makes them easy targets for repeated abuse.

I did message her to warn her, but I am afraid she may have turned control of her account to her Mistress so that warning will get deleted.

I am a Top/Master/Dom, I hate abuse and won't stand for it. The hell with what it may do for the lifestyle, what it does to the abused is far worse. The mental is a large part,taking years to build trust again in anyone, trying to build your self-esteem that was destroyed. Not to mention the physical scars and possible death.

I know, I was raised as a second class citizen until I was old enough to get clear of it, took me another 15 years to get rid of the mental anguish and scars.

So be careful and always remember, doing nothing, saying nothing is the same as condoning the abuser


Lost forever?

I miss the people I met here, miss thier comments, reading thier blogs. It seems everyone went thier own ways. I love reading MI post, she could write and place you in the middle, almost as if you were living with it.
These were Kind people, life people, not the rude assholes that seem to dominate the internet now. Alot of the old haunts are now filled with vanillas looking for kinky sex and have no idea what this is all about. Truthfully, I was on a personal site the other day and the post was "looking for naughty online slave for self-spankings" Now I ask you, what the hell is that all about? Sounds like some jerk looking for wack-off material.
I go to and the slaves/submissives have list of demands a mile long. Ok, I understand the need for some, what with the trolls out there sending one liners and pictures of thier cocks, but all in all you shouldn't make others pay for past mistakes...just my view. That's why they have delete buttons and blocking tools.



I'd almost forgotten what it was like to spank a beautiful ass, to make it even more beautiful by adding color to it. I was just fooling myself when I left, thinking I could stay away from it.
I've tried a few Master/slave relationships, hard tho with me being married. Done alot of Daddy/Dom, that seems to be the best for all in my situation.
Don't ge me wrong, eventually I'd like to be in a ltr Master/slave setting. While I love and always will love spanking, I feel I am best suited to be a Master 24/7.
Whichever I am I know I will always keep it interesting. Variety is the spice of life. Yet stability and routine is the mainstay. A slave/sub needs the strict outlines to follow in everyday life, but they also need the unexpected occasionally to keep them alive.
Rules that don't bend, consequences for thier actions.
I met a slave [and I use that term loosley] who talked a good game, but when it came right down to it, was a slut, not a slave. She could be a slave when it came to getting what she wanted, but if it wasn't what she wanted she would change. I only met with her twice and that was enough. I suppose she was good enough in her own sence, but not right for me. Had it been a different scene, I would have made her my slave, but with the wanna-bes now a days, you just can't do that, unless you don't care about jail.
So ladies, if you need discipline in your life and are open to a relationship built on this, email me at, please be in the wisconsin area as I'm not into cyber. Even if you just need a spanking or discipline once, I will provide it.


Standing before me, like a little girl who's been caught, eyes down, feet nervously shuffling, stuttering as the words fail you. "i'm sorry" you faintly whisper, knowing it won't stop whats' coming.
Submissively you stand as I reach up and undo your belt and jeans, pulling them down to your ankles, feebly you grasp your panties as I jerk them down quickly. "no please, I"ll behave" you plead as I pull you firmly across my knees.
I watch as you clench your legs, trying to protect your modestty, grinning to myself, knowing that will be forgotten in a few minutes.
Lightly I caress your ass, trying to relax you, coax you into a false sense of calm. Stopping, I scold you, talking to you as the little girl you've behaved like. Watching you relax your ass before I start....

Are you ready...


Saturday, October 18, 2008

Been away to long

How time flies when you're having fun. I've been checking out some of my friends, and they are gone... damn, disappear for a couple of years and everything changes.
I've decided not to join any paysites like before, they just bleed you dry with promises and produce nothing. [unless you're just looking for porn] I've met more people, in the life, outside of these sites than I've ever met in them. Most of them don't bother to check thier list. Now I ask you, if there has been no activity on an account in 18 months, what's the sense of keeping it active?
I'm still looking, seeking, getting shut down alot, lol, alot of narrow minded folks in this life, just like vanillas.


Friday, October 17, 2008

Well I'm back

Well I'm back, I've fought it as long as I can, but the need keeps calling me back. I knew I would return, but I had to try, for sanitys' sake. I've always felt I was cheating, not on my wife, but cheating my sub or slave of the proper attention they need. Felt cheated that I was unable to live the life 24/7, but let's face it people, 50% of something is better than 100% of nothing.

So I am back, I think about the days I will live 24/7 and feel guilty. For that to happen my wife would have to die, and I don't want that at all. For those who know me, you know divorce is not an option, never has been and never will be. I love my wife and enjoy the life we have. The part of me that is missing something, will just have to settle for what it gets.

Having said that, I will be updating regular. Hopefully soon I will have good news of a sub or slave. If not, I'm still a hell of a spanko and will be attending parties once again.

Take care people, see you soon


Monday, December 26, 2005

Pre-net spankos

Let me say one thing, the internet, for spankos or other alternative lifestyles, is the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Life before the net, for me as a spanko, was a nightmare. Alot of Time wasted in porn shops looking for magazines that dealt with the lifestyle. They were rare, very rare, the ones you did find were usually poorly written and it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out they were made by vanillas. Personals were even rarer unless you happened to live in a big city.
There was alot of fem-dom material out there, but the male top wasn't catered to much. MR magazine carried alot of letters to the editor on the subject, but thier pictorals were all mainstream. I could always find alot of personals for either coast, but chicago was pretty much vanilla.
Spanking and sadism was pretty much taboo. Strictly forbidden, a subject even the most open minded looked at you like you were some kind of sicko if you even mentioned it. If I did happen to meet someone who looked or even showed the slightest inkling towards spanking, I learned to keep my mouth shut for fear of being branded a sicko. (in those days, it was placed in the same catagory as child molesters,much like homosexuals were)
Since the net has come about, people have read more and more and become more accepting of it. The old fear that because you were a spanko (sicko) you might molest children or do anything, disappeared.
Sites began to appear on the net, run by spankos, about spanking. Thru the net personals you could actually meet like minded people. Finally you came to realize you weren't some sick perverted molestor, as the past had brought you to believe.
At recent parties I've attended, there have been more and more younger people coming. Another testimony to the net. I think it's great that they can be open with it, not sneak around feeling dirty and perverted. Feeling frustrated and having to settle for things they don't want or don't fulfill thier needs.
So next time ya think of the good old days, think deeper lol

Til the next time

I have a real problem with Egos'

I have a real problem with Egos'. They tend to get under my skin, my craw, aggrievate the hell out of me. Don't mistake me here, confidence is an ok thing, even a good thing, but these mindless fools who rattle on just to impress people really piss me off. Stating the obvious, in a sophisticated way reminds me of a saying that was my grandpas favorite.."poultry poop is just a fancy way of saying chickenshit"

Confidence is not having an ego, you don't need to impress people with what you know.

Not wanting to upset people at the site my other blog is, I write that here. A few have written the meaning of a true Dom/top type articles. Of course there were plenty of Oooohs and aaaahs, comments to feed the Ego even more. "profound!!! a must read!! etc.

Now I ask myself why does this bother me so, am I jealous? Do I wish I had written them? But I always remember, I never have handled egos well, as a matter of fact I have gone out of my way to cut them down to size. I never needed to spout off to show off, I have always been confident, not arrogent, just confident.

I guess what really pisses me off about this, is, they are planting unrealistic ideas into Subs/bottoms heads, about what a Dom/top should be. Each and every Dom/sub relationship is different. They have to be cultured, nutured, given time they will evolve into the relationship both are seeking.

While I agree with the points made, they are second nature and shouldn't have to be made. Like the little girl telling the emperor he is great genius, just common sense.

Anyways, I would enjoy comments